Friday, April 23, 2004
Uncertain

For the past few days, everything seems to be so uncertain to me. Things that I should not have done yet I did and things that I should do but did not. Matters worsen when my head and heart contradicts each other. Listening to the head is good because it somehow serves as an automatic self-defense mechanism. Vital for sensitive souls like me. But at the same time, people do say listen to your heart when it comes to feelings and relationship as well. Doesn't sound brilliant for a soft-hearted person. Feeling hurt and jilted is catastrophic. Never did know my personality brings negativity to/in people. It doesn't matter much. It's not a bad thing and I don't see the point of changing. I am unique in my very own ways. Maybe it is just not the time yet for me to meet the right group of people who share the same thoughts as me. I still believe there's special someone out there who appreciates me for my raw thoughts and personality; someone who doesn't belittled my beliefs. It's rather disappointing to see how people talk behind people's back; especially coming from someone you least expect about someone you know. That's how the society works anyway. The Nicomachean Ethics by Aristotle is something I am looking forward to read..(and get inspired?). Still making time for it though. No one says that you can't find the meaning of life at the age of 19. As much as I hate to, I take great offence when people say I try too hard. What happened to the 'If you have nothing good to say, don't say..' quote?

On the contrary, rekindled friendships make me feel good. The feeling of freshness... simply gratifying. Re-opening of a chapter in my book of life. (and about to close one soon) ...
n-g || 6:58 pm || ||
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